her_mouse_jesty | 56 (The Little Whirlwind)

56 (The Little Whirlwind)

[Video/Action for those in Olivine!

Minnie is sitting on the front porch of her home/inn, with Walt the Charizard sleepily resting his head on her lap. She strokes his 'horns' as the Pokegear turns on.]

Hello, everyone. I hope you're all having a good day. I was just talking with a new friend, and she made me want to do 'that' again... By which I mean, share fairy tales! My home has so many fairy tales, and I love telling them to others. So if you'd like to hear one, just say so, and I'll spin a story with you!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The Sultan had no magic, but you could just say he was very lucky. Jafar wasn't as powerful as he'd like to think up until then. Now, a lamp in Agrabah was normally used to hold oil and be lit on for light. As for the magic part... well! Back to the story.

[She's patient, having dealt with having to explain this to kiddos before.]

The old man was Jafar in disguise, and said he would help the two escape if they promised to get him the lamp from the cave. Aladdin was a man of his word, so he promised. Jafar helped take Aladdin and Abu out of the dungeon, leading them to the cave. He told Aladdin to touch nothing but the lamp, and again, Aladdin promised. Aladdin and Abu went inside, and the cave was filled with treasures piled high! Gold, jewels, a single piece of it would have made him ten times richer than the sultan! They even found a flying carpet that followed them around, glad to have new friends. But Aladdin remembered his promise, and touched nothing, managing to find the lamp.

Abu, on the other hand, was a bit greedier than his friend... and he couldn't resist this one ruby...

[...okay so

incompetent wizard dressed like an old guy

resourceful homeless kid finding a magical oil lamp

greedy monkey causing problems for everybody

flying rug for no reason

got it]

Well. That doesn't sound as though it's going to end very well, now, does it.

Right!

The cave came to life, and roared over the broken promise! The entrance to the cave was sealed shut, and now there was no way out! Jafar assumed this meant Aladdin was dead, and returned to the kingdom, deciding his next scheme to rule Agrabah would be to marry the princess. But Aladdin was alive and well! In his despair, he looked the lamp over, wondering what was so special about it. It looked a little dirty, so he rubbed it...and a mystical genie came out! Genies are magical creatures who grant three wishes to whoever rubs their lamp. But there were rules to the wishes... You can't kill people, you can't bring people back from the dead, and you can't make people fall in love.

[IN WHICH THE CAVE JUST ROARED AND ATE A TEENAGER

HOLY

SHIT

MADAM]

[...hold on.]

Well, if those are the only restrictions, then that's...fortunate, I suppose. I mean, I understand the restriction on not bringing people back from the dead; that never ends well, from what I've heard. And I suppose making others fall in love qualifies as playing god...

...why in the world can't they kill, though? Or is that just a matter of personal preference?

[DON'T RUIN THE STORY YOU FREAKING MONSTER]

Life and death are not things to be played with. Fortunately, Aladdin didn't want anyone dead, so there was no problem with that.

However, Aladdin was clever! Instead of using his first wish, he tricked the Genie by saying he wouldn't believe him until he was given a display of power. So the Genie used his magic to get them all out of the cave. He then realized the trick, and made Aladdin swear to never do it again. The Genie also explained how sad and lonely his life was, always a slave and stuck to the lamp. Aladdin felt pity for his friend, and made another promise - that for his third future wish, he would wish for the Genie's freedom.

[WOMAN THIS STORY IS FULL OF LIMBS BEING WHACKED OFF AND MAGICAL CAVES THAT EAT RESOURCEFUL TEENAGERS

AND THEN THIS PARTICULAR RESOURCEFUL TEENAGER UTILIZES TRICKERY TO USE A PATHOLOGICALLY DEPRESSED MAGICAL CREATURE LIKE SOME SORT OF DRILL THAT PIERCES THE HEAVENS

ALSO THERE ARE FLYING RUGS FOR NO REASON

HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT THE STORYTELLERS IN YOUR WORLD ARE ON, BUT WHATEVER IT IS, CLEARLY IT WORKS AND IT PUTS YOU ON ONE AWESOME THREE-DAY BENDER]

At least he's charitable; I'll grant him that. Although I have to wonder exactly what he's going to use said wishes on - I mean, I'm going to assume that this is like one of those romantic movies in which he assumes that the princess can't possibly love him because of a difference in station. But he can't make her love him, according to the rules. So...?

You know your stories well!

Aladdin was still in love with Princess Jasmine, but knew she could only marry a prince. So for his first wish, he wished to become a prince. The Genie turned him into Prince Ali, and they had a grand parade, strolling into the kingdom and asking for Jasmine's hand. Jafar recognized Aladdin and the lamp, and began to scheme how to get his hands on it. Aladdin pretended as if he'd never met Jasmine before, in order to keep up the disguise. Jasmine refused the proposal, thinking he loved her only for her beauty and power. Aladdin tried to woo her by giving her a ride on his magic carpet, knowing how she loved to be free and explore, and it worked... at first.

[...oh my god

so if the genie made him a prince

not just...disguised him like a prince, but actually made him a prince

there's presumably an entire country full of people that just materialized right the hell out of nowhere to form this country that the resourceful homeless kid now rules

either that or there are some very confused people in an existing country that have no idea why they have new royalty all of a random sudden...no, but if they're having a parade, then they're not very confused...

BRAINWASHING?????

.........do we see why Kimblee does not do fairy tales, he is not seeing the forest because OH GOD THE TREES

...

All right. All right, that's. Likely not important, let's try to forget the brainwashed people for a moment and focus on the love story. Yes. Yes, this is a good idea.]

Did she recognize him, then?

More and more as the night went on! But he wouldn't admit it, so she had to trick him by talking about Abu, who Aladdin would have known but Prince Ali wouldn't have. Aladdin tried to lie his way out of it, saying he was pretending to be a street urchin to get a good look at the kingdom. Jasmine believed it, and decided she would marry him, since he was still much like the street urchin she loved. But when they separated for the night, Jafar had the guards capture Aladdin, tie him up and gag him, and threw him into a far off ocean to drown him!

[LETO

TAKE

THE WHEEL]

Oh, well, that's not horrifying at all.

[WHAT ON EARTH

FOR SOMEONE SO CUTE SOME DAMN TERRIFYING THINGS COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH]

[WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAR

HORRIBLE THINGS HAPPEN]

Aladdin became unconscious, but the water made his hands touch the lamp, and the Genie was summoned. He realized the danger his friend was in, and was forced to use the second wish to save Aladdin's life. When Aladdin recovered, he raced to the palace, and managed to stop Jafar just before he could use his spells to make Jasmine marry him. Aladdin exposed Jafar's wicked ways, and the Sultan ordered him sent to the dungeon, but Jafar escaped, with a new plan in mind. The Sultan then allowed Aladdin and Jasmine to marry, and began to arrange the wedding. But when the Genie asked Aladdin for the third wish, the wish Aladdin had promised to use to set the Genie free...

Aladdin said no. He was worried that he would need the last wish, in case the truth about his street urchin life was exposed. He broke his promise.

Well, that was [pragmatic resourceful logical exactly what I would have done] rather cold, wasn't it?

Just like before, Aladdin would pay for this broken promise.

The Genie and Aladdin argued, and so Aladdin put the lamp aside, deciding to deal with the matter later. But that was a mistake... for when he left, Jafar seized it, and became the Genie's new master. Jafar used his first wish to become Sultan! And then his second wish to become the most powerful sorcerer in the world! With his enhanced powers, he exposed Aladdin's lies, and blasted him right out of the kingdom. He made the Sultan and the princess his slaves, making them bow to him, and even tried to force Jasmine to be his queen. The kingdom fell into despair, for they were now under the rule of a wicked and evil tyrant.

[...entire kingdom in despair

in like half an hour

holy shit, madam, this Jafar person is fierce]

And I'm assuming that this is where our hero discovers the error of his ways, and returns to...ah, Agrabah, wasn't it? And rescues the princess and the Sultan.

But if he was blasted clear out of the kingdom, I don't see how he was supposed to be able to save anyone, simply due to distance alo-

[ ............... ]

[ ...............!!! ]

...that rug.

[She even claps a few times for you.]

Exactly right! Abu and the rug were with him, and they got him back to Agrabah! With his friends they snuck into the palace, trying to grab the lamp so they could defeat Jafar. Jasmine caught onto the plan, and trying to help, she attempted to seduce Jafar... but he saw through it, and trapped Jasmine in a giant hourglass, intending to drown her in sand! Jafar used his powers to turn into a giant snake, and wrapped around Aladdin, ready to kill him... Aladdin's friends could do nothing but watch...

But then... Aladdin said that while Jafar was the Sultan, and the most powerful sorcerer... the Genie would always be stronger than him. This made Jafar think... so he used his lash wish - "I wish to become a Genie!"

That...well. That is a very valid point, but Genies are bound to the whim of the master, aren't they? And if not the master, then to the...

[Ah, hold on!

HOLD ON]

...oh, that's genius.

I told you Aladdin was clever!

Jafar turned into an all mighty and all powerful Genie... that now had his own lamp to be imprisoned in! Aladdin sent the lamp into the deepest and furthest parts of the desert so no one could ever free him. The Genie undid all of the terrible magic on the kingdom, and offered to use the last wish to turn Aladdin into a prince again. So Aladdin made his wish... to free the Genie. He loved Jasmine, but he knew the importance of promises, and couldn't live a life of lies. The Sultan was touched by this display of honesty and loyalty, and decided to make an exception. He allowed Jasmine and Aladdin to marry, and the Genie, with his new found freedom, traveled the world!

And they all lived happily ever after.

[...............]

Well! That was certainly very interesting, and I do appreciate your taking the time to tell me.

[.........oh

oh god hang on]

Ah, did they happen to do this "happily ever after" whatnot in Agrabah, then?

Of course. Happily ever after is what your life is like when you're with those you love.

Well, yes, I imagine so - I've never been in love, personally, so I wouldn't know, but...

[WHAT

HAPPENED

TO THAT ENTIRE COUNTRY FULL OF BRAINWASHED PEOPLE]

...ah, I suppose it's not important. Again, I do appreciate it.

56 (The Little Whirlwind)

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/screaming with laughter, wtf

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oh my god I am laughing so hard I can't

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thank you so much for indulging me, this was wonderfully fun