56 (The Little Whirlwind)

[her_mouse_jesty]

[Video/Action for those in Olivine!

Minnie is sitting on the front porch of her home/inn, with Walt the Charizard sleepily resting his head on her lap. She strokes his 'horns' as the Pokegear turns on.]

Hello, everyone. I hope you're all having a good day. I was just talking with a new friend, and she made me want to do 'that' again... By which I mean, share fairy tales! My home has so many fairy tales, and I love telling them to others. So if you'd like to hear one, just say so, and I'll spin a story with you!

Comments

[video]

[explosivecombat]

[...you, madam, are so quaint he's gonna die.]

Perhaps I'd like to take you up on that offer.

[video]

[her_mouse_jesty]

[of all people, you really shouldn't use that metaphor.]

Wonderful! Oh, let me see, let me see... Have you ever heard the tale of Aladdin and the lamp?

[video]

[explosivecombat]

[Well, it could be worse. "So cute he could kill something" is arguably both a million times more apt and about a million times more horrible.

...as it stands, however, Kimblee is from some alternate version of the world where the countries Aladdin could conceivably be set in don't even exist, so. Huh.]

I can't say that I have, actually. Do go on.

[video]

[her_mouse_jesty]

[orz. anyway, she clears her throat, ready to begin.]

Once upon time, in the desert kingdom of Agrabah, there was a street urchin named Aladdin. He had no family, and stole for a living. However, he had a kind heart, and a loyal monkey companion named Abu. He longed for a good life where he could be treated with respect, and would always longingly look at the palace. Inside the palace, the Sultan wanted his daughter, the princess Jasmine, to marry before her next birthday, but she refused every suitor. She wanted to marry for true love, and so one night, she ran away from the palace.

[video]

[explosivecombat]

[...wait, she what]

And what in the world was that supposed to solve?

[video]

[her_mouse_jesty]

Well, she thought she could have freedom if she ran away. Unfortunately, she'd never been outside the palace walls before, so she had no idea what life was like out there.

She took food from a merchant to give to some hungry children, but she had no money to pay for the food. The merchant was ready to cut off her hand for stealing, but Aladdin stepped in, and claimed that Jasmine was his sister, who was too insane to know right from wrong. Jasmine played along, and the merchant let her go. Aladdin fell for her beauty, and showed the princess all around the kingdom, not knowing who she really was. They spent the day together, falling in love...

... And they never suspected that the Sultan's adviser, the evil Jafar, was spying on them!

[video]

[explosivecombat]

[okay so we have a socially stupid princess who seems to think that street shops give out food and vendors are just there...for the hell of it or something

a country where they whack off your hand for stealing, holy shit

a resourceful homeless guy

and a love story that happens over the course of like six hours or something

and then

THE PLOT THICKENS

good god woman your stories are intense]

For what purpose? I'd assume to take over the throne?

[video]

[her_mouse_jesty]

[you can just hear the disney logo coming up, huh]

Of course! Jafar wanted to rule Agrabah, and he had spells, magic weapons, and even a talking parrot to try and usurp the Sultan, but he always failed. His latest scheme was trying to enter a Cave of Wonders to get hold of a magic lamp, but the cave would only let 'a diamond in the rough' enter. Jafar used a spell to find this 'diamond in the rough', and discovered it was Aladdin. He sent the palace guards to capture Aladdin, and claimed Aladdin had kidnapped the princess. Despite Jasmine's objections, Aladdin and Abu were tossed in the dungeon, and sentenced to die. Aladdin though he was done for...

... until a strange old man in the dungeon began to talk about a Cave of Wonders.

[video]

[explosivecombat]

[WAIT BUT WHAT THO]

Wait, wait. Was the Sultan magical as well? Because I don't see why the magic weapons wouldn't work, but the lamp supposedly would.

[Admittedly, he's not expecting too much of a coherent answer here, given that emphasis was put on the talking parrot like this was supposed to solve everything, but you know...]

...admittedly I'm not entirely sure what this magical...lamp...thing that you're referring to is, because I suspect it's not what I'm picturing in the least - but that is neither here nor there, I suppose...

[OH MY GOD HE IS SO LOST

THIS IS A STORY YOU TELL TO SIX-YEAR-OLDS AND HE IS SO LOST]

video;

[bellyshirt]

Fairy tales...? Those are for babies.

[Translation: but I would kind of like to hear one because you seem like a nice lady.]

[video]

[her_mouse_jesty]

The Sultan had no magic, but you could just say he was very lucky. Jafar wasn't as powerful as he'd like to think up until then. Now, a lamp in Agrabah was normally used to hold oil and be lit on for light. As for the magic part... well! Back to the story.

[She's patient, having dealt with having to explain this to kiddos before.]

The old man was Jafar in disguise, and said he would help the two escape if they promised to get him the lamp from the cave. Aladdin was a man of his word, so he promised. Jafar helped take Aladdin and Abu out of the dungeon, leading them to the cave. He told Aladdin to touch nothing but the lamp, and again, Aladdin promised. Aladdin and Abu went inside, and the cave was filled with treasures piled high! Gold, jewels, a single piece of it would have made him ten times richer than the sultan! They even found a flying carpet that followed them around, glad to have new friends. But Aladdin remembered his promise, and touched nothing, managing to find the lamp.

Abu, on the other hand, was a bit greedier than his friend... and he couldn't resist this one ruby...

video;

[her_mouse_jesty]

I can't imagine I look like a baby, hm?

video;

[bellyshirt]

That's not what I said--[HUFF.]--just hurry up and start already!

video;

[her_mouse_jesty]

[Smirrrk.]

Well then... have you ever heard the tale of the little mermaid? A redhead like that may suit you.

[video]

[explosivecombat]

[...okay so

incompetent wizard dressed like an old guy

resourceful homeless kid finding a magical oil lamp

greedy monkey causing problems for everybody

flying rug for no reason

got it]

Well. That doesn't sound as though it's going to end very well, now, does it.

[video]

[her_mouse_jesty]

Right!

The cave came to life, and roared over the broken promise! The entrance to the cave was sealed shut, and now there was no way out! Jafar assumed this meant Aladdin was dead, and returned to the kingdom, deciding his next scheme to rule Agrabah would be to marry the princess. But Aladdin was alive and well! In his despair, he looked the lamp over, wondering what was so special about it. It looked a little dirty, so he rubbed it...and a mystical genie came out! Genies are magical creatures who grant three wishes to whoever rubs their lamp. But there were rules to the wishes... You can't kill people, you can't bring people back from the dead, and you can't make people fall in love.

video;

[bellyshirt]

The little what?

video;

[her_mouse_jesty]

The little mermaid! Mermaids are beautiful creatures that are half mortal, half fish. They live in the sea and have beautiful singing voices. From the belly up, they look like a person, but they have a very pretty fish tail!

[video] - 1/2

[explosivecombat]

[IN WHICH THE CAVE JUST ROARED AND ATE A TEENAGER

HOLY

SHIT

MADAM]

[explosivecombat]

[...hold on.]

Well, if those are the only restrictions, then that's...fortunate, I suppose. I mean, I understand the restriction on not bringing people back from the dead; that never ends well, from what I've heard. And I suppose making others fall in love qualifies as playing god...

...why in the world can't they kill, though? Or is that just a matter of personal preference?

video;

[bellyshirt]

Half-fish? You call that beautiful? That sounds like some kind of monster.

[her_mouse_jesty]

[DON'T RUIN THE STORY YOU FREAKING MONSTER]

Life and death are not things to be played with. Fortunately, Aladdin didn't want anyone dead, so there was no problem with that.

However, Aladdin was clever! Instead of using his first wish, he tricked the Genie by saying he wouldn't believe him until he was given a display of power. So the Genie used his magic to get them all out of the cave. He then realized the trick, and made Aladdin swear to never do it again. The Genie also explained how sad and lonely his life was, always a slave and stuck to the lamp. Aladdin felt pity for his friend, and made another promise - that for his third future wish, he would wish for the Genie's freedom.

video;

[her_mouse_jesty]

[Hmph.]

All right, how about... Cinderella? No fish in that story, or monsters, unless you count very mean people.

video;

[bellyshirt]

I didn't say I didn't wanna hear the story! Jeez, lady. Monsters sound better, anyway. I like adventure.

video;

[her_mouse_jesty]

Perhaps I'd better start...

[She laughs nervously, and then clears her throat.]

Once upon a time, there was an underwater kingdom, filled with mermaids. Their ruler was King Triton, and he had many beautiful daughters. The most beautiful, the best singer, and the youngest, was named Ariel. Ariel was unlike the other mermaids because she was fascinated by the world above the ocean... and about humans. She and her fish friends would go exploring the waters for human things, and try to learn all about them. this was against the wishes of her father, who forbade interaction with humans, thinking them all to be dangerous. One special night, Ariel saw a human ship on the water, and when she got a closer look, saw a handsome prince on board... and for her, it was love at first sight~!